Social Media and (Un)Happiness
In March 2024, I got off social media.
I had been feeling pretty down for the better part of a year, and waking up each morning scrolling through everyone else’s perfect, happy lives was surely not helping. So, I deleted the apps— Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat. Even Find My Friends.
I started to wonder: Was social media actually making me unhappier?
Here’s what I learned.
Social media, at its best, is an amazing tool for connection— one of the most important predictors of well-being. It can foster belonging, offer emotional support at scale, and bring moments of joy, inspiration, and discovery. (Think: a puppy video, a new recipe, a surprisingly useful life hack.)
But there's a tipping point: when connection shifts into comparison.
When inspiration turns into envy.
When sharing becomes scrolling.
When intentional use turns into compulsive checking.
These were my signs that something needed to change. And the research backs it up.
Social media is a double-edged sword. When used mindfully and meaningfully, it can strengthen our relationships, boost gratitude, and even enhance happiness. But when use becomes passive, excessive, or rooted in social comparison, it’s often linked to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even sleep disruption.
In other words: It’s not just how much we use social media, but how we use it.
At its worst, the constant stream of curated, filtered content can distort reality and erode self-worth. It can fragment our attention, undermine deep thinking, and cultivate shallow connections. And for many, especially kids, it’s become a primary source of stress, pressure, and even bullying.
As the saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
So what can we do?
Do we have to delete the apps like I did? No. Here are a few strategies rooted in positive psychology:
Learn the system. Understand how algorithms are designed to capture your attention and influence your mood. Awareness is power.
Pay attention to how you feel. If scrolling leaves you feeling worse, take note. That’s emotional intelligence in action.
Be an active participant, not a passive consumer. Comment, message, create. Don’t just lurk and scroll.
Curate your feed. Follow accounts that uplift or educate. Mute or unfollow those that spark stress, envy, or comparison.
Protect your sleep. No post is worth losing rest over.
Practice gratitude and self-compassion. Especially when envy or FOMO creep in.
Be mindful in the margins. Waiting for an elevator? Standing in line? Instead of defaulting to your phone, look around. Notice something beautiful or unusual.
Play more. Especially with kids, but adults need play too. Puzzles, painting, games, movement. Joy isn’t just for children.
Talk early and often. Parents: have real conversations with your kids about social media. Not to scare them, but to guide them– just as you’d teach them how to safely cross the street.
People ask me if I miss social media. And truthfully? Yeah, I miss seeing who’s getting married, who had a baby, and the “things I didn’t know I needed” videos on TikTok.
But for now, I’m giving myself some space to enjoy connection without the captions and moments without the filters. Maybe I’ll return to it someday. But right now, being present in my own life is enough.
PS: The photo for this blog is from a vacation in February 2024. I’m smiling with my sister in the stunning Utah mountains. What you don’t see? I spent the entire morning crying. I wiped away the tears for this photo.
Just another reminder to be careful what you assume on social media.
