3 positive psychology tools I use every day

If you told me a few years ago that a photo album on my phone, the way I respond to my husband after work, and simply naming what I’m feeling would change my life, I would’ve laughed. Or at least raised an eyebrow.

Recently someone asked how I apply positive psychology in my own life. I realized I use it constantly, and yet it can be tricky to explain. One of its greatest strengths is also one of its biggest criticisms: it applies to almost everything. But when something is rooted in the human experience, of course it applies broadly.

Out of all the ways I use positive psychology, here are my top three tools for being simple, practical, and most transformative—no matter our role or season of life. 

1. Create a Positivity Portfolio

This was one of the first strategies I learned, and it’s still a favorite. The idea is to intentionally cultivate positive emotions—like joy, awe, peace, love, or amusement—because they’re building blocks of well-being.

Mine lives on my iPhone as a photo album called “2025 highlights.” I’ve made one every year since 2020, filling it with photos and videos from moments that made me feel joyful or grateful. Each morning, instead of scrolling social media, I scroll through that album. It’s a quick boost that reliably shifts my mood.

Other versions could be screenshots of kind messages, saved cards or letters, an upbeat playlist, or a vision board—anything that sparks a positive emotion. Psychologists call this savoring: intentionally noticing and appreciating the good in the past, present, or future. Given our brain’s built-in negativity bias, savoring isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.

2. Practice Active Constructive Responding (ACR)

This is a fancy name for showing up better in our relationships—another cornerstone of well-being.

When someone shares good news, it’s the difference between “That’s nice” and “That’s amazing! Tell me more.” When they share hard news, it’s the difference between “That sucks. Anyway…” and “I’m sorry to hear that. How can I support you?”

The latter is ACR: responding with genuine interest, curiosity, and care. I try to keep it in mind whether it’s my husband walking in the door after work or a teammate sharing a win (or a loss). It’s not always easy—especially on days I’m drained (more on that in #3)—but I’ve seen (and the data support) how ACR deepens connection and trust.

3. Name It to Tame It

If I had to pick one tool that’s made the biggest difference, it’s this: emotional intelligence (EQ). Simply put, EQ is the ability to notice, name, and navigate emotions in ourselves and others.

When we identify what we’re feeling (name), we can choose how we respond (tame). Without that awareness, we’re more likely to spiral, numb out, or pretend everything’s fine when it’s not.

EQ isn’t about overanalyzing every feeling. It’s about knowing when to check in, name what’s going on, and choose our next step—whether that’s taking a walk, getting some sleep, asking for help, or giving a loved one (like my husband) space, not solutions. 

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Applying positive psychology isn’t about chasing constant happiness or making sweeping life changes overnight. It’s about building habits that help us notice the good more, nurture our relationships better, and navigate our inner world (our thoughts & emotions) with greater skill. 

And what I’ve learned is that can start with something as small as a photo album, a better conversation, or the right word for how you feel.