Age and happiness
I turned 30 this year, and I had a lot of feelings about it. On one hand, there was excitement, hope, and gratitude. On the other, there was fear—even a little dread.
Was the best part of my life already behind me? Were the next few decades destined to bring only more stress and complexity?
Research across dozens of countries shows a U-shaped curve of happiness: young adults report relatively high well-being, satisfaction tends to dip in midlife, and then rises again in older adulthood. You may have heard it called the “midlife slump.” And turning 30 made me feel like I was standing right at the edge of it.
So I got curious: why does happiness decline in these years, and what can we do to buffer against or even boost it?
Why happiness dips in midlife
Weight of responsibilities
Careers, raising kids, caring for aging parents, mortgages, complex relationships—it can feel like life is pressing in from all sides. It’s no wonder many of us feel stretched thin during these years.
Expectation vs. reality
When we’re younger, we’re fueled by possibility. When we get older, we start comparing the life we imagined with the life we actually have, and that gap can sometimes sting.
Comparison and social pressure
Scrolling social media, it’s easy to see someone else’s highlight reel and feel behind. The “shoulds” pile up, and comparison crowds out contentment.
Biological and psychological shifts
Our bodies and brains change. Energy, hormones, and stress regulation all shift in ways that can influence our moods.
What we can do about it
The encouraging part is happiness tends to rise again in our 50s and beyond. Why? People often describe feeling more accepting and grateful, less caught up in comparison, and more focused on meaning, connection, and joy in the present.
But if you’re like me and don’t want to wait twenty years for happiness to rebound, I’m looking to positive psychology for practices that can help steady us through the harder stretches of life. Here’s a few:
Practice gratitude with specificity. Even jotting down three small things each day can train our brains to notice what’s here instead of what’s missing.
Invest in relationships. Strong social ties are the single biggest predictor of happiness. Go for the date night, send the text, nurture the friendships. Social support is also a strong buffer against stress.
Redefine success. Instead of asking, “Am I where I thought I would or should be?” try asking, “Am I living in line with what I value?” Shifting from external expectations to internal ones makes all the difference—even though it’s not at all easy.
Create anticipation and invite awe. Build small joys into our weeks—a new recipe, a hike, a date night, a long weekend. At the same time, seek out awe by putting ourselves in the path of (and noticing!) beauty and wonder—watch a sunrise, wander through a museum or park, get lost in live music.
Savor small joys. Stress narrows attention to problems; savoring broadens it to notice what’s good. It could be the coffee that hits just right, the sunset after dinner, or the belly-hurting laugh with a friend.
Practice self-compassion. Midlife is messy. Let’s be more open and honest about that. It’s not about self-victimizing but offering ourselves kindness rather than harshness, which calms nervous systems and clears minds to go forward with more intentionality rather than reactivity. Talk to yourself the way you would a friend.
The U-shaped curve of happiness is real, but it doesn’t mean we’re destined for decades of decline. As I step into my 30s—or any season of life where dips are inevitable—I’m learning the work isn’t to avoid them. It’s to steady ourselves with practices and people that help us not just get through these years, but grow through them.
