How to make better decisions (and maybe get a dog)
My partner and I recently got a dog! For years, he’s wanted one, and for years, I’ve resisted. It wasn’t until an unexpectedly honest conversation that I realized my hesitation wasn’t about the dog itself. It was about the decision. A dog would change our lives, our routine, our freedom, and I was afraid of choosing something I couldn’t perfectly predict or control.
Then, almost on cue, my favorite podcast host released an episode on how to make better choices. It felt like it was made for me: someone clinging to routine, afraid of making the “wrong” decision.
Should we get a dog? Move? Start a family? Change jobs? Book a trip? Have a hard conversation?
We’re all making decisions constantly, from the trivial to the life-altering. So I got curious about what behavioral science and positive psychology teach us about making decisions with more clarity and less fear.
Here are a few principles that challenged how I (and many of us) have typically approached decision-making:
Clarify what matters. Many decisions feel hard because we anchor them in expectations or “shoulds” instead of what we genuinely value or want. Asking, What’s important to me, really? can help turn confusion into clarity. Understanding ourselves is the first step to better decision making.
Accept trade-offs. Every decision involves a loss of something. That’s not a sign of a bad decision or ignorance. It’s reality. We are imperfect people in a complicated world. Wise decision-making is about choosing which set of trade-offs we’re willing to accept and live with.
Resist the urge to quantify everything. As someone who loves a spreadsheet, this one hit hard. Rational choice theory says we should assign probabilities and outcomes, then pick the optimal choice. But life’s big, meaningful decisions can’t always be plugged into a formula. There’s no cell for joy, connection, or meaning (as much as I may try.)
Know when to satisfice. Maximizing every decision is exhausting. To satisfice is to choose the option that’s good enough. It’s not about settling but right-sizing our effort to match the importance of the decision.
Try it on. When we can, experiment before we commit. Fostering, for example, was our way of trying on dog ownership and gathering real data over hypothetical pros and cons. Pilots and trial periods aren’t just for workplaces; they’re tools for life decisions too.
My biggest takeaway and ultimately why I said yes to the dog? Good decisions aren’t about eliminating uncertainty. Sure, quantification and optimization have their place, but so do reflection and purpose and experimentation. Good decisions are about choosing what matters most in pursuit of a good life.
Link to the podcast: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-make-better-choices-with-barry-schwartz
