How to have a happier holidays
Confession: I’m that person who puts up her Christmas tree and queues the holiday playlist on November 1st. (Sorry Kevin!) For me, the holidays mean quality time with loved ones, expressions of gratitude through gifts and good food, and reflection on the year behind and ahead.
But the holidays can also be highly stressful, especially in today’s complicated world. Maybe we’re juggling visits with multiple families, feeling financial strain from gifts and travel, or managing guilt for not doing – or being – enough.
As we head into the season, here are three mindset shifts from positive psychology that I’m keeping in mind:
Two things can be true. Life – and the holidays – are rarely just one thing. They can be both joyous and stressful, filled with both gratitude and grief. (And grief isn’t only about death. It can come from losing a relationship, a tradition, or even a belief or expectation.) One doesn’t cancel the other. Holding space for both realities helps release pressure and build acceptance instead of shame. Rather than limit us, this mindset expands our options as we move forward.
Satisfice, don’t maximize. Let go of the expectation of a perfect holiday, meal, or gift. Instead, choose what matters most to you, and match your effort to its importance. “Good enough” isn’t settling. Not every decision deserves our maximum effort. Let’s save our ~valuable~ energy for the decisions that truly count, and give ourselves permission to move on from the rest. Maybe the tablescape isn’t Pinterest-worthy, but everyone’s laughing around it – that’s success.
Self-care. Especially for those cooking, hosting, and giving to others, don’t forget to refill your own tank. We can’t pour from empty cups. Between the gift shopping and meal prepping, pencil in time for whatever recharges us—a walk, a workout, a podcast, a good book. Sometimes saying no creates space for more meaningful yeses. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. (More on that here.)
P.S. If politics add stress to your family gatherings, here are some ideas for navigating when things get personal.
As much as I love the holidays, I know they can add to life’s already existing stresses. (Two things are true!) By releasing perfectionism and comparison, focusing on what matters most, and giving ourselves the same compassion and care we’re giving others, we can lighten our mental loads and make room for a happier holidays.
P.P.S. For more super practical stress management tips for the holidays and life in general, check out The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, Episode: Stop Stressing About Stress.
