Why bother with positive psychology?
The most common question I get around positive psychology is simply “what is it?” And it makes sense. It’s a relatively new field of psychology (founded less than 30 years ago) and, frankly, I think the name itself can be misleading.
The short answer: Positive psychology is the science of well-being.
The longer answer: It’s the study of what makes life worth living. Just as traditional psychology studies mental illness and develops treatments to reduce suffering, positive psychology studies mental wellness and develops evidence-based strategies to help people thrive. It’s grounded in real research and designed for real life.
Importantly, positive psychology is not “happiology,” and it’s not self-help. It’s not about slogans like positive vibes only or advice to just think positive. This is why I think the name often gets misunderstood.
Positive does not mean happy. And it definitely does not mean ignoring what’s hard, painful, or wrong. While the field studies happiness, optimism, and well-being, it also examines topics like grief, trauma, stress, and adversity and how we navigate those experiences with resilience and meaning.
(Personally, I tend to turn to positive psychology most in my least positive moments: when I’m stressed at work, preparing for a difficult conversation, or I’m just feeling really down.)
So if positive psychology isn’t about forced positivity or denial, what is it?
While it’s impossible to capture the entire field simply, here are three core ideas that, to me, get at what positive psychology is really about.
Name it to tame it.
TL;DR: Self-awareness leads to self-compassion, which leads to better self-care.
Positive psychology emphasizes self-awareness because change without insight is unreliable. When we can name what’s happening (our emotions, habits, values, and limits,) we stop being run by them. Awareness creates choice. Rather than reacting automatically, we can respond more intentionally. That’s where self-compassion comes in: not as softness, but as a smarter way of working with, rather than against, ourselves. (More on that here.)
This kind of self-care isn’t about comfort, but about capability. It treats emotions as signals from the brain and body: information about what matters to us and what we need. It replaces self-criticism with curiosity, which expands our thinking, and helps us identify our next constructive move.
Surviving is not thriving.
TL;DR: The absence of illness is not the presence of wellness.
One of the most important insights from positive psychology is that not being depressed or anxious does not automatically mean we are well. Reducing distress matters, but it doesn’t automatically create engagement, meaning, or vitality. Like physical health outcomes, well-being requires intention and ongoing effort.
Rather than relying on major life overhauls, the most effective changes come from small, consistent shifts in mindset and behavior: how we focus attention, invest in relationships, use our strengths, interpret experiences, etc. These choices influence not just how we feel, but how effectively we function.
Our experience is what we attend to.
TL;DR: Pay attention to what’s right, without ignoring what’s wrong.
Because negativity bias narrows our focus (especially under pressure,) we tend to see problems more clearly than progress. When attention is fixated on what’s wrong, our thinking can be rigid and responses become reactive. Positive psychology works to rebalance that lens.
By training our attention on what’s working (moments of connection, progress, meaning, and competence), we build cognitive and emotional resources before we need them. It’s not about being naive or unrealistic. The result is actually greater resilience, better judgment, and a higher likelihood of responding effectively when something does go wrong.
Why should anyone care about these reframes?
Because learning and applying positive psychology skills leads to better outcomes in nearly every area of life: work, relationships, health, even finances. Whether we’re navigating a hard season or experiencing our best one yet, positive psychology offers practical tools to meet real challenges, build mastery over our experience, and create a life that feels not merely manageable, but more meaningful.
Which brings me back to the common question: What is positive psychology? It’s not about being positive all the time. It’s about learning how to live well, especially in our least positive moments.
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