What I learned from an office tour about slowing down
Recently my husband and I toured an office. The person showing us around was kind and thorough, and they talked the entire time. Every moment of transition or pause was filled with a “yeah, so, um…” or some other stream of random words.
I was so irritated. Just let us look around and think. Later though, I realized how familiar it felt — a mirror for how many of us move through life: uncomfortable with quiet, rushing ahead, filling every gap with words, activity, or noise. Rarely leaving space to just be.
It makes sense. We live in a world full of uncertainty, pain, and constant input. Silence can be uncomfortable, so we reach for our phones, multitask through meals and meetings, and keep ourselves perpetually occupied. (Me too.)
But slowing down, tolerating stillness, and being present are skills (overlooked in our culture,) and they’re some of the most effective ways of bringing more calm, clarity, and consciousness at work and at home.
Here are three practical, research-backed ways to build them.
Leave one thing unfinished (on purpose)
At first I thought: why on earth would I do this? Because it teaches us, in small, low-stakes ways, that life is messier and less controllable than we’d like, and that nothing falls apart when things aren’t immediately resolved.
Leaving an email unsent until tomorrow, leaving the laundry unfolded for an extra day, or not making the bed first thing in the morning. Not to be irresponsible, but to teach our brain that nothing bad happens when we stop or slow down.
Slow the body to calm the mind
When we physically slow down our bodies, our nervous system follows. Walking slower (I especially need this one), eating a meal without a phone, taking longer breaths, even chewing slower or slowing our pace of speech.
These physical cues signal safety to our brains and activate our parasympathetic nervous system, which supports rest and clearer thinking. We’ll still rush out the door sometimes – that’s life, but slowing down whenever we can helps.
Reframe silence as spaciousness
Stay with me because I know this sounds fancy and fluffy. Silence and downtime often get labeled as awkward, lazy, or unproductive. (Guilty here too.) But they’re not; they’re space: to think, feel, and actually notice what’s going on around us.
Walking without a podcast, sitting in a waiting room without scrolling, or letting a pause exist in conversation. When we stop filling every gap, our relationship with stillness starts to change. We reach less for distraction, we talk less just to fill space, and we get more comfortable just being.
Especially at work, this matters — particularly in fast-paced, high-pressured environments. The inability to slow down or be present shows up as rushed decisions, reactive emails, and meetings where everyone talks but no one contributes. By contrast, tolerating stillness leads to more intentional responses over automatic reactions, clearer thinking, and greater calm under pressure. (Sometimes a 30-minute nap can be more productive than another 30-minute meeting.)
If you’re thinking, Must be nice to slow down, I get it. This isn’t about having more time or fewer responsibilities; it’s about small shifts in how we move through the time we do have and staying regulated in a life that’s already full. (Often the people who feel least able to slow down need it most.)
When I think back to that office tour, I feel less annoyed and more understanding. It was a very human response to discomfort with quiet. I’m not saying we should slow down or sit in silence all the time. (I’d be the first to get annoyed, just as I do with constant conversation and distraction.) I’m saying we should go on metaphorical office tours where we can wait without pulling out our phones, stand in a room – even with someone else – in some silence, and move on to the next thing without rushing.
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